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Jazzmin. Glasgow.
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thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

(Source: sofiajonze, via flyingcowsandyellowcars)

lumos5001:

screaming-till-im-numb:

I want someone to write a book where Mermaids are the women thrown off ships when the sailors got afraid because having a woman on the boat is bad luck. And as they sink to the bottom, legs tied together, they change slowly until they can breathe, until they can use their tied up legs to swim. And they drown sailors in revenge, luring them in by singing in their husky voices still stinging from the salt water they breathed. 

someone please write this

(via flyingcowsandyellowcars)

andrewhussiesbosom:

I’m the friend that picks rainbow road

(Source: ghoststud, via flyingcowsandyellowcars)

medschoolapplicant:

Today I’m wearing a nice dark shade of exhaustion under my eyes.

(via tearmyheart-open)

That awkward moment when you don’t know if a car is going to let you cross.

j4ckkme0ff:

kimig11-riker6:

rikerr5:

dumbhumanlikeyou-:

image

this.

hahahaha

EXACT REACTION OMG

omfg 267% accurate

(Source: campbellsoup, via y0ur-graduation)

lesshi:

cknd:

Am I the only one that finds it weird that I can transfer data from my brain to someone else’s by opening my mouth and pushing air with vibrations in their direction.

How high are you

(via sexbooksandpokemon)

delicatedarknesss:

Pro’s and cons of boys

Cons: they’re dicks
Pro’s: their dicks.

(via of-house-stark)

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